angelic entries

2007-04-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

bye blogger.
im moving.

http://24dreaming.livejournal.com

2007-04-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

Golden Skans By Klaxons

I want to poison every single human who gets to go
to the Oxegen Festival because it is not fair.
I should be among the crowd jumping my undies off
at every single band.

Money always come at the right time.
Some say money can't buy happiness.
But for some people, or poor people like me,
it will always bring a tint of happiness.
What i buy makes me happy.
What i buy for people makes me happy.
Like my light blue deer print shirt.
Im off to Zouk.

2007-04-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

How i got this plant is complicated. Everything is possible with daniela monster tan around. Nonetheless i named her Happy because she makes me smile everytime i look at her red berries or whatever it is. Ive no idea what this plant is.
But they're really cute.

I smell happyness.

Happy meet world. World meet Happy.

Please don't die on me.

2007-04-03T01:11:00.000-07:00

What happened to the flawless days?
I guess when you grew older you think too much
and when you think too much you look old,
and when you look old you want to look new,
and when you want to look new, you look like everyone else,
and when you do, you just want to stick to t-shirt and jeans.

So you want to look like london or paris?
There's more fridays to come so don't be depressed.
Everyone wants to look good on fridays.
I dress better on Mondays.
And on Tuesdays, i wear a dress.
And i feel that it is ok to feel abit fat.
Cos when i accept that my legs and thighs are
too big for nice silky pants,
i will one day find a million dollar note on the ground
that the fat man with sunglasses left for me.
Sleep early, eat more vegetables and stop looking at
beautiful people, you'll find that life in tin biscuit
is just as good enough.

2007-04-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

i hate myself.

i might as well stay at home and eat happy cereals.

where have all the money gone to?

i want to rot.

up up and away.

2007-03-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

I was a moon.
Somewhere in the galaxy.
Im not used to the buzzing lights of this city.
I have my own special needs.
Like if i have to stand forever in one place,
i'd know where it'd be.
And if i want to lie down,
it wouldn't be my bed.
I want a secret garden.
I want to place a wooden bench in the middle
of a huge garden and sit there.
I want to stand in the middle of a forest with autumn leaves
falling on my head.
I want to be in the middle of everything beautiful.
Im still scared of heights.
I still want my mom to feed me.
Im not sure about getting married.
I don't trust hairdressers.
I don't like taxi drivers.
I don't like anyone who looks like my uncle.
I like afternoon dreams.
I don't eat yolks, but i eat certain kind of yolks.
I don't eat cheese, but it depends on how it looks like.
I don't really have a good ending.
And i haven't looked outside the window for a long time.

2007-03-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Now i know one day she'll be mine.
But i don't know my cat will turn away from home.
Cooking alone in the kitchen is not so bad.
Drinking milk is good for your bones.
Now you can come over to my house
cos i got milk stacked in my fridge.
waiting for you to drink them.
I left the fishballs to boil.
Now they're so fat.
Some big some small.
Some cooked some not.
Some are you some me.
Now im the best cook in the world.
So will you marry me?
Ok now i want to watch the tv.

2007-03-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well hello.
How are you?
Won't you pull out a chair?
How many times can you love?
How many times it takes for you to stop?
Will you be able to look the other way around?
You ground me with promises.
And bury me along with it.
And i am in a mental hospital for you with you.
Thank you.
And there was someone there who mentioned that they hoped it would rain forever,
forever so they could drown in peace.
Everything look so beautiful when you don't look down.
Now shut up bird stop flying around.
Chirp chirp.
Now im going to wake up and open the window.
So i can go back to sleep.
Now shut up cricket stop creeking.
What are you doing in my house freaking me out?
You creek all night long for your long lost lover.
The only sound i want to hear is her voice ringing in my ears.
I put the phone to my ear.
I didn't press your number.
blablablabla.
ive nothing else to blabber.
Now that everything rhymes
i can say that everything is alright.
bye.

2007-03-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Just a few shots from my many previous events.

Cafe Del Mar sucks. Stupid.
Do you know how troublesome it is to get there
and back with lousy service? I swear i will never
go there again. Btw that is Kiks and pearle.

Ahh..ketiakjantan and me at Indochine.
We were having brief conversations about
our individual lives.
And also how fat she became. =)

Bukit Timah Earth Satelite Station.
I like. Im practically amused.
A school excursion.

Ahhh yesss!!!!! My beautiful girlfriend.
We were basking away under the street lights
after a hefty meal at Hajjah Maimunah.
She's fucking adorable and if i was a sick
psycho i wld chop her into pieces and preserve
her body in glass jars. I would twist and turn
your face into the shape i want and kiss those
lips until they turn blue.

The friday mass sessions.
Everybody loves raymond.

It has been a long time and i love you the same.
Though you never change. Well you don't have to.
Just stop molesting me.

2007-03-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

I want to be an arms dealer.
Im just trying to pursuit happiness.
Now i look at everyone and they are very godamn happy.
Tragedy after another and slowly im going to be missing.
Maybe that is why my back hurts.
I am leading an unknown comfortable life.
Though uncertain for sure, i am very much in my own bubble of happiness.
It is just that once in a while i tend to take a step out of my comfort zone and i have the strangest feeling when it rains.
When it rained the other day i was standing infront of your grave.
When it rained the other day i was lying beside the one who winds me down to sanity.
When it rained every other time i would swear at my shoes for getting
themselves wet.
When it rained i succumb to my guilty pleasures.
And sometimes, when it rained i feel utter silence surrounding me
and it makes me feel calm and sad.
I thought the rainy season is over and now i know why it keeps raining all the time.
So i took 3 days of compassionate leave and also as an excuse to skip school.
I wasn't mourning or anything because i was ready to let it go.
But it was that constant flashbacks in my head that reminded me there's a void somewhere
in my life. A flesh is gone, a limb is missing but i don't remember how it feels like when i lost it.

2007-02-28T23:16:00.000-08:00

Now nobody told me it is going to be this hard.
Now can i please go where ever you're going?

Everybody is leaving me.
Everyone's got someplace to go.
Soon my tv will go.
My fan will go.
My fish will go.
My cat is gone.
My teacher will go.
My mother will go.
I will go.
My friend will go.
I don't know where they will go.
I don't know why they have to go.
But im glad that it is their time to go.
And i hope that where ever they're going,
they will find peace and happiness for eternity.

2007-02-25T06:10:00.001-08:00

Do you know you're about to have a bad day?
Have a cigarette, you might need it at last. Have a seat, we might need it. My superhero left without a word. He is not coming back. I really want him to come back. It is fucking sad.
It is fucking sad when I saw a man grieving in pain. Can i wipe that blood on your face? She was screaming out his name. From then on my life swerved into a pothole drain. I said im sorry for banging into your car. Im sorry i forgot to breathe. Besides, look at my face im having a bad day. I really need to leave this place. She was right, i really need a cigarette. Mine is a fairytale, yours is a jagged edge so fuck it. You broke into my realm and i wake up to another demon's dream. She said it's alright. We're okay. We will come to the end anyway.

2007-02-21T11:54:00.000-08:00

What makes you think that your reflection is you?
In dark tube tunnels there is another land where
elfs and fairies live.
A sparkling land with silver-coated trees and grass.
I look closely at my reflection and i saw them
smiling at me. They're so beautiful.
The things we look everyday are taken for granted.
No one looks beyond the norm at all.
And ive always believe that there is another land
in our own land which we surpassed without notice.
I am overwhelmed in my own fantasy and i wake up to another.
And im gonna sleep to see another.
Sometimes it is just better.

My girlfriend is an elf.
And she went to this forest where other elves live.
She went and came back with a gift for me.
I asked why did you give me a piece of my dream?

2007-02-21T00:11:00.000-08:00

4days and 3 nights in heaven.
A trip like no other.
We walked on autumn leaves and
soared above sea-level.
This product is for you to use and when
it is near the expiry date, i hope im still in for use.
Though nothing as good as my tv lasts,
lets just talk about how we met for coffee and
how our lips met.
Like ive said i don't think of the end.
I think about how you spit your toothpaste on my face.
I think about your breath on my lips.
I think about our legs intertwined.
I think about bedtime stories you told.
I think about waking up to the look in your eyes.
I think about how fat you are
and how fat you made me.
I think about how you abused me.
I think about how i tried to call the police.
I think about many reasons why you should move in
next block, on the same level and
fairytales do exist.
I think about the mushrooms you grew in my house.
I think about the smell of colourpencils.
I think about how your hair smells like beer.
I think about how silly you are and you remain
so beautiful.
And i think about many, many sweet things cos
when i do, the end seems further.
And if i think more than enough, the end
might no longer come.

2007-02-13T04:39:00.000-08:00

Darling your head is not right.
We're both not right so i guess its meant to be.
But no matter how delusional i get, sometimes i get tired
of deciphering words from reality.
You say the strangest things and i wonder if the meant something.
I don't have anything to worry but most of the time
i feel like breaking down for no apparent reason.
Remember how it feels like to touch the ground?
I guess i never came down.
And when our eyes meet, my headache becomes lesser.
So what is the problem now?
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW?
It is nothing.
I just need to feel the ground for awhile.
Can you please show me where and when to land?
Im tired.

I shall breakdown the events of me karl next time.
It is so funny.
How everyone and everything is connected.
Don't talk so loud cos the person might be there.

2007-02-12T02:54:00.000-08:00

(*everybody huuuurts, sometime, everybody cries* feeling REM)

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

How weird will it be to have your picture on a complete stranger's page.
Seriously its not flattering cos ive had it with stalkers.
Ive totally had it with strangers telling me they love me when they don't even know i like to pick my nose in public. They don't even know that i don't shave. I don't like it when you read to me how much you wanted to be a part of my life. I don't like it when you tap my back because you want me to know you're stalking me. I don't like strangers thinking they know me. I don't talk to strangers. So tell me how can you possibly love me truly madly deeply when you haven't spoken to me or at least know my infamous last name. So i was wondering how can someone fall in love at first sight. Admire, eye candy, yes i understand. But love is such a strong feeling. People say it too often and they don't mean it like they should. I only believe that love comes much later. This is just an individual opinion so don't sue me. SO STOP PRETENDING AND ADMIT THAT LOVE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.

I love ellen degeneres. Ahhhhhh!!!! Love is now becoming a word. I don't know her personally but i love her shows. But i do know natalie portman personally. We used to do grocery shopping together and sleep on rainy days. Honestly i wish i could kiss her lips. Or grocery shopping for that matter. Anyhoos, back to ellen, yes ive been watching her shows on you tube on late nights because she lits me up.

What is bad day? A bad day is when a huge ass pimple is on your face, so huge that it blocks your vision. I wish i can change my skin cos i feel disturbed. A bad day is when you know your bike is about to break down again anytime soon. You know something is wrong somewhere but you just go on ahead with it. I keep pushing the pedal until i come to complete halt. Now life is like that. A bad day is when you try so hard to be like someone or something but you lack the money to do so. Money stops me from having everything and that is when i wish im paris hilton's best friend. Can can can can Can Can can????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

Im not fat.
Im just sad.
Im deeepressed.
But for awhile.
Until stardust-sprinkled wonder made me eat and eat and eat.
She just wants me to grow as fat as she is right now.

She is my MacDonalds. Everytime i meet her i get a happy meal.
Along with it, i consume a few thousand calories too.
She is the pork of my dreams.
And im lucky cos i get to keep the snout too.

I dreamt of a very beautiful indonesian evil witch who wanted to kill me
and my sister. I don't know where that came from.
And i said pls dont kill me.
So she turned us into dolls.
And she will drag us wherever she goes.
I really like her and she thinks im cute.
hahahahahhahahaha!!!!

2007-02-09T00:44:00.000-08:00

We are young, we run green
Keep our teeth nice and clean
See out friends, see the sights
Feel alright!

Alright By Supergrass

I have a paper on Saturday of all days and i havent started
memorizing and srutinizing my lecture notes yet.
I am confident that im gonna fail this module.

I was walking on the streets of chinatown
and i found nothing that is worth a buy.
Just a couple of smelly uncles and unshaven armpit aunties.
The air smells of pork and wet cloth.
I still i still want something.
Something to keep something to adore something to wear
and something something.
The end has no end, so lets just proceed to the ending.

2007-02-08T02:40:00.000-08:00

Life is a game.

I went to war and back.
I fought chinese people and sometimes american.
Depends on what colour my skin feels like.
I died and i wake up again to find myself dead.
Sometimes id rather hide and stay alive.
Most of the time my friends would do stupid things like
killing themselves.

2007-02-07T00:37:00.000-08:00

Santa Monica By Theory of a dead man

Indigo Prophecy
Do you believe in a story?
Do you believe that story can save your life?
She's pale and she's a fairytale.
She's weak and she wants to go home.
Life is like a video game.
I can control people's lives.
And its fun. Cos i always give good endings.
I feel like someone is controlling my movements and my speech.
That there is a huge flat screen tv and a Xbox up there.
They're playing a game called Munah's Prophecy.
And i hope my ending would be good as well.

2007-02-06T02:53:00.000-08:00

The pageant of the bizarre By Zero 7

Life is three steps forward.
Somethings are too good to be true.
Some are two steps back.
Most of the time i think my life is better on the other side.
When the time is up, im going to live on my own.
A small apartment in a simple city.
With one cat and three fishes.
And a paycheck.
Two thirds of the cause of your depression comes from home,
the rest is exams.
My dad is going away again.
So that i can spend.
Can i not spend?
I left my bike at the clinic.
Soon im going to put him at the old folks home.
I guess we're all just tired.

2007-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

Brain dead.
Im having clogged up brain tissue and grandma eyes.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
A friend with weed is better.
So i can be like water and droplets sound like drums to my ear.
Im addicted to base.

2007-01-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

If we kissed By Fiona Apple

If i am not here blogging,
i am probably skipping school and sipping coffee.
If i am not here telling elusive stories,
i am probably hiding under her armpits.
If i am not here infront of my computer,
i was definitely at Muse super concert.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeewoooooooooooooooooolalalalala......

Two of my fishes died.
My cat has flu.

She smells of colour pencils.
She speaks in binary language.
I am a sentence broken down into words,
forming a story.
I have no time for semantics.
Everything just happens.
We've stopped counting anyways.

ok bye.

2007-01-11T22:10:00.000-08:00

No lies, Just love By Bright Eyes

Today is a self-declared holiday for me. I told myself i need to goddamn rest. I couldn't even get out of bed. Let me sleep, let me sleep. The school can wait and look for me later. And by the time i wake up my right eye was swollen like as though i had one major eyebag. I ran to my mom and complained and she said "see la, next time don't look out the window in the middle of the night." And i was like, what's that got to do with my eye now. Anyway it was raining the whole day so ideally, i wld stay home and laze. I ate and ate and put on my overdued face mask while listenning to hid's bad day. I wish i cld look out the window and see the rain fall. But now i have second thoughts.

Yesterday i bought a pair of $40 shoes from zara and i don't know if i want to wear it. I bought it cos i felt that it was cheap. Me and nip were trying on clothes and my heart aches so bad cos there's nothing i can do to purchase any of them. I just thought i need a new set of clothes. Im solely depending on a miracle to happen to my bank account. And there's this Agnes B watch that i wld love love to have. Forget abt the price. And the pants i fell in love with is wayyy beyond my budget. Im waiting for the day when i can do some hardcore shopping.

And so i finally get to meet Karl these few days. We gossip and gossip about stuffs, well, i think the rest of the world is gossiping abt the same thing. And i swear i have the funniest friends alive. Hid came without an invitation but nevertheless she, too, was equivalently making our chairs vibrate and me, jumping on my chair. And i was doing the usual remove-the-migraine routine for Karl and i accidentally pulled a strand of hair. Now she's bald. Im so sorry.

Ok the rest is private. Goodnight elfs.

2007-01-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

Good day By The Dresden Dolls

Im back to the loneliest place on earth.
School.
She's back from outer-space.
Good.
The world is getting uglier.
Karl, karl what am i supoz to write about you.
Prolly a tragic story or the after-midnight phone calls we had.
You either make me laugh or cry at the same time.
And then we cldnt get too close or else the sheriff will catch us
and ask us stupid questions that will make us laugh later.
Usually id tell you about the dreams i never told or the shape of my nipples.
Or the way we like things to be or how things have become lately.
I have nothing else to say but i'd update if there is anything more.
Cos i haven been seeing you lately and therefore there's no story.
So quit that job and meet me.

2006-12-30T03:34:00.000-08:00

Speeding Cars By Imogen Heap

great sale and broken down vehicle
Hayden decides not to work at all at a traffic junction. He thought that "oh i just don't feel like working at all and im gonna jam all my gears and leave you by urself to figure it all out."
Hayden was like a sick bike who needs some cough medicine which was far from reach. So i left it there for the tow truck to collect it. Lucky me a curious rider stopped by and gave me a hand as well as redundant ride to orchard. He was awkwardly gay and extremely nice to me. Why is it these dodgy men i always meet in everyday situations?

There is so many things i can do on a friday but i simply lack the greasy notes and two-wheeled wonder. Through the glass window it leaves me wide-eyed open. It is the goddamn sale and im left with five measly cents in my wallet. Oh where did all my paper friends go? And like any other i scrambled my way into the midnight train. Mumbling to myself that i couldn't afford to even drag my feet to the thumping music i hear miles away. It has been nano years since i entered one of those hell house. So the day decides that i took gulps of beer, throwing cards and gossip of nothing at all.

So i guess i'll have to settle in for these few brief moments before the french-pencil returns from far, far away. Seems like everything is in their right places. A well-deserved pat on the back for me. Let's find neverland. Goodnight elfs.

2006-12-22T11:06:00.000-08:00

Just for now By Imogen Heap

who are you before you met a nazi?
are you a mess?
or were you this perfect?
what happens after i finished colouring you?
its scary.
cos you were never real.
i have only 3hrs of sleep before i disappear.
i had a debarment letter.
everyone should get that once in their school time.
if not, you're just way too boring.
i want to stay in london.
im off to london.
bye.

2006-12-22T01:06:00.000-08:00

I miss you By Incubus
"To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line, if I said I miss you. "

Life in Stereo
So what would i care if the world's a rollercoaster ride?
What if im going to remain unstrapped?
As for this moment i am happy, happy.
Flailing my arms carelessly in the air
This heart is yours to break, to mend and to play.
To wear or to bury.
It is not nice to remain too nice.
I love my bitter beings.
Im gonna miss my eight friends.
Have a merry, cherry christmas.
I miss my favourite colour pencil.

2006-12-17T03:00:00.000-08:00

Sway By The Perishers

Sometimes some people get lost along the way
and they don't know how to get back.
Some finally found their way back to sanity.
And i wish i cld tell them the same thing.
That if i were you, ill put my head among the clouds.

Faber-Castel dreams and everything will be alright.
At least ill try.
Dreaming has been a part of my imagination
and id follow closely to what it tells.
Im just waiting for the right time,
when the magic dust turns us into living again.
Til then,
i won't stop smiling.

2006-12-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

Oil and Water By Incubus

I will never, ever, ever be Sham's or Ben's pillian again.
I swear i left my tits somewhere down the road.
I thought i might never live through 21.
Ok i repent.
Im sick of the rain. Sick from the rain.
The rain is sick. Both the rain and the sun.
Sentosa reminds me of cold, hollow nights.
Sleepy dreamy melancholy day.
Im a dreamer dreaming of those dreamy eyes.

Im so sleepy.

I was turning back the history pages of melancholy me
and i found this very interesting page where i cursed
under my breath that whoever ate the red apple
will suffer the consequences.
A stab on the heart far more painful than the
edge of a knife.
Tears will flow longer than the river nile.
Then you'd come to me and say,
im sorry i shldnt have eaten the red apple.

im sleepy.

2006-12-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

Everything will be alright By The Killers.

In my afterlife, i wanna be a cat.
Just eat and grow fat and walk ard the house aimlessly.
I'll be groomed nicely and happy chewing my fleas.
All i have to do is wait for the day i die.
I don't want to be a stray cat.
Cos i might be abused.
Ok i change my mind.

Honestly i don't like reality.
I only imagine what i want to see. Missed everything by daydreaming.
School is one reality i can't imagine. If i do then ill end up,
nowhere. So ill leave it to that.
This way i stress less. When the dream dies, the pain sets in.
But i don't cry.
I don't like to be anchored down.
I don't believe in cupid.
I don't like relationships.
I don't like peanut butter.
Neither do i like cheddar cheese nor greenpeas.
It's funny how they're proud of me when
i became nonchalantly arrogant about every possible
damage caused internally.
Infact i enjoy throwing myself into the sea and follow
where the tide decides to hit which shore.
Nothing means anything cos nothing lasts.
Even the tv.

2006-12-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

the used-yesterday's feelings

Eating in LauPaSat was like a bad horror movie.
I'd rather laugh over tauhui.
But the thought of rats landing on my head freaks me.
At least i didn't spend my weekend over free coffee.
Oh wait, i did. Only not at the same place.
I like starbucks : )
So far that's all i remember.

2006-12-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

finch-perfection through silence

Dear anonymous,
Somehow my dream didn't come true. I am afterall in school
4hrs late. I think i slept too much.
Im blobbing up and down with no direction.
But then again im having the tan of my life.
For every ship i come across, ill hop onboard and
have a cup of coffee. When the tide is right,
ill walk the planks and continue the float to Neverland.
Life's like that. Everything dissolves in ur palm before you know it.
Im happier wasting time than to give you mine.

2006-12-08T01:03:00.000-08:00

Today is a HAPPY day.
Although i cld've called that place home.
I am going to avoid it tmr, else ill shoot myself in the head.
It's a pleasure meeting you.
Bubbles come out of your mouth when you talk.
And therefore i feel bubbly.

And then i bumped into a long lost friend.
Then i bumped into Hid.
Then i bumped into TheGf.
Then the world became smaller.
Then i bumped into a wall.
And i died.
And i realise it was just my imagination.
And then im depressed.
And id rather sleep and dream that im not supoz to go to school.

2006-12-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

'Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And laid entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness'
-Perfect Sonnet By Bright Eyes

So im coming to the end of the chapter.
But the ending is further than the pages itself.
Hardcovers last longer.
I can't remember where she said she was going.
But she left me empty letters.
I spent another century with bitemarks and blue hopeful eyes.
It's like a bad day in bosnia.
The next hour im hopping, hop, hop to super mega screen.
There you go, you already put colour in me.
What's in between n o t h i n g?
Pleasant dreams.

2006-12-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

Imagine.

'In the schoolrooms and church halls where they were slaughtered, many of the dead have been left unburied, to form their own memorial. The rooms are empty except for trestle tables on which collected bodies and bones have been laid, entangled. In one room the faded, shapeless clothes of the dead have been strung on motionless lines: curiously beautiful. In another it's the floor that supports the barely recognisable decomposed remains, lost in a sleep more fast than most of us get to know. There is no smell, there are no flies. The atmosphere is, in fact, intensely peaceful; the scene is deeply moving. It is also full of unspeakable sorrow.'

2006-12-05T00:30:00.000-08:00

wonderfulish.
hopefulish.
luckyish.
fetish.
radish.

The Hives - Two timing touch and broken bones
this song makes me jump on my bed twirl like an idiot do the flips and hit the ceiling then fall on my back and slip on the floor and giggle by myself then id play the song again and repeat all of the above.

its times like these you'll learn to live and live again
don't look at me like that green-eyed monster. i didn't steal anything from you.
i was who i am. i am still. that's so mean. how can someone hate by looking them in the eyes?
huh? huh? huh? it is not even my liking come to think of it. jeez!!!

What is about silence that makes people uneasy?
love one another or die.
-morrie

It only happen in my dreams and ice-cream drips like winter leaves.
You said the radiation will kill you. Your lips brushed against mine a thousand times.
Your hands in mine.
When i wake up it is a whole new different story.
Your fingers grazing through my hair. I open my eyes. And there you are.
That's real.
Perfection through silence.
Silence of the lambs.

Ok id better obtain my 9hrs of sleep before i wake up feeling like a paranoid late for school.
And going to the wrong lecture theater. Fool!!!!
Babi!!! chingchongchingchang.

2006-12-03T17:24:00.000-08:00

I think Im paranoid.
I woke up and i thought i was late.
So i took a quick shower and sped off for school.
When i reached my classroom, i realised there's no one in class.
And i said what the hell the lecturer is not even here yet.
Then my 9am alarm went off.
Reality hits!!!!!!
My class is not supoz to start til ten.
I was an hour early!!!!
Now i feel really, really stupid.

2006-12-02T03:04:00.000-08:00

Psycho Killer Qu'est-ce que c'est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

So you can tell by my eyebags that it's worth it.
Or so they say.

what is wrong in their heads today?

I am Invader Zim. And im here to....

2006-11-30T11:40:00.000-08:00

Good times gonna come By Aqualung

Tell me where the money is.

-4K to Japan
-2K to Frankfurt
-2K to Manchester
-$500 to Bangkok
-1K to Maldives
-zero, if i just go home.

2006-11-27T02:21:00.000-08:00

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
My limbic system is in love with you.

hahahahahaha!!!!
get it?
get it?
get it?
ok nvm.

2006-11-26T03:32:00.000-08:00

My friend has a flower friend.
Me and nic loves hanging out under the bridge like trolls would.
Izzie tripped and startled "smell like shit" twice.
I saw bright, yellow flashing light heading my way and
i realise i was riding on the wrong lane.
Good apollo, we almost died. Not really.
Time passed by too slow. And i prefer it that way so that Monday
will come by later.

2006-11-24T14:38:00.000-08:00

I slept with the comp on. I slept with my contacts on.
I slept with the lights on.
I can't remember falling asleep.
I wish i had a tradition.
In Neverland I had waffles and she kissed my head twice.
Some things are better left there.

Tonight I saw two eyes staring down at me in this valley of ashes, and I realized what a grotesque thing a rose is. I've been grasping at a light that seems just out of reach but just close enough to blind me. 'Cause I've never noticed that this sand isn't turning into gold. And everybody who wears it so well is wondering what they are going to do tomorrow. But the lights are going out and we won't see them again. It's getting fucking dark.

2006-11-21T12:41:00.000-08:00

Late-nights, alcohol and other jealousy-related issues.

Hey there anonymous, this doesn't concern you at all. Notice the expiration sly.
I've been shedding seconds and applying the formula you see.
Maybe we're all just numbers after all. Infinte numbers and numbers that leads you to zero. A nervous narcotic speaks in fragmented code. Moments like this are best expressed in binary. Maybe we should speak in math language. In that way, we can calculate the answers together.

God bless heartbreaks and fights. And all the pretty kids with tired tired eyes. There's a chemical war at the end of the planet. A stagnant bore. I prefer to be catagorized as sub-genres. I opt for a meticulous separation from the world. Then again, i am a mutant for i hold the golden key. I am made of black eyes and IX. This is oh so typical. I have a reason and not to step in this war created by humans. To restore order and peace. This time, dear humans, this time i choose not to. But all my options are exhausted. Trust has been exploited. I fear most that awkward eyes and clever disguise might trade my silence to something called cupid. For i know im the easiest to beat in this cold cold world of red hearts and three words.

2006-11-21T02:17:00.000-08:00

Folder By Plastic Operator

copy and paste. let's just copy and paste.
at the end of the day it's all done. copy and paste into a folder.
see, settled. and now i can go to sleep.

2006-11-17T01:37:00.000-08:00

Im tired. Im tired of school and programming.
Im tired of searching for that minute mistake on a goddamn page.
Im tired of staring. Im sick and tired of listenning to the same music.
Im especially tired of the chasing and running, then falling.
so where is it?

2006-11-16T01:11:00.000-08:00

Good apollo, some things just don't work.
It's funny how everyone tirelessly starts conversing
on the main page. I think i shld stop talking.
I talk too much. I talk and i talk but i never talk.
Im not supossed to. Cos i just don't.
I think im over-excited. I think im violently happy...

..that George Bush is coming. Maybe ill stop being hyper
after he left. OK.

Cassiopeia and I have been dreaming of the moon
on silly afternoons under the rain. What's in the words that we both
pray? And our glowing eyes filled with silent space. Anyway anyway,
is that ok? If you ask me how id say the taxi lights were in your eyes.
If you ask me why id say you sweep the loneliness away for awhile.
And if you were to say no id say, ok.
I thought you were a dream.

2006-11-13T00:38:00.000-08:00

'The Killing Moon By Nouvelle Vague'

Things that doesn't makes sense usually makes alot of sense.
The in-thing now is that 'nothing makes sense'.
So if you wanna keep up with the modern world, you'd better not
make sense, in every aspect. Nothing needs to make sense cos you know there's
a reason behind everything so don't bother looking for answers.
Everything is complicated and nobody talks sense.

You're made of plastic and i can smell you everytime you burn.
I don't like the smell of plastic burning. It irritates my brain.
Somehow i'll have to live with every plastic. Not that ill die without it
but it can be useful to me at times. So ure just something i use.

Fetch me the doctor, im fading to grey. Im running out of colours.
The driver is making me feel sick. He brought us to Zeus. I'll travel to Sputnik.
From there ill fetch Cassiopeia. Then we'll go to neverwhere, a place with no above.

2006-11-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

2006-11-10T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hello assignments, goodbye sleep.
A productive way of lcompleting our fyp by keeping us in this crimson room.
I came up with two of my favourite videos from youtube.
Ive been watching vids from muse to shakira to britney spears.
You name it. 32400secs in this damn room made youtube officially
my imaginary friend. I work, eat, sleep, surf, talkshit all within
these 9hrs in this room. Wait why am i complaining?
Im just dying to get this over and done with but eventually it will get
even worse for my last repeated sem. So what im trying to say is i want to graduate
real soon. Perhaps ive mentioned it a couple of times ald. The more i say it, the faster ill graduate. Nevermind all my tragic lunch or dark cubicles. Nevermind losing my way to Cassiopeia. Nevermind, nevermind.

Karl had a dream abt me which might be a sign that im gonna get married. I whine to my mom everyday that i wanna get married. So it is he who will stream endless love into my river. And it is he who will put a halt to my search of forever. And ofcos many more rantings regarding my ideal soulmate. But then again, i was just kidding abt getting married. No love lasts. So spare me the burden.

2006-11-09T02:24:00.000-08:00

heart's deli...

Today i met the only mushroom that kept me sane.
oooohweeeeedumdeedoo!!!!

Wait there is a light,
There is a fire illuminated attic,
Fate or something better I couldn't care less,
Just stay with me a while
Anna Molly, Anna Molly, Anna Molly
dooooodoooodoooodooooo.
(yesyes thanks faris)

plenty to say. plenty planta.
kotek la. its 2am.

2006-11-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Good apollo, i was awaken by Cassiopeia shortly after she appeared in my dreams.
School is not fun anymore. There are times when uncertain friends pop out of nowhere to accompany throughout tragic lunch. And if they are nowhere to be seen then i guess its up to me and my imaginary friends. Anyhoos, beethoven was in tune today. I was given till next week to finish off his assignment. He said our class is a bad/slow/terrible/notorious one. Oh well what can i say i day-dream throughout RFME lectures. DAVT-digital audio video..whatever. Apparently i love my DAVT lecturer. What is it that keeps me awake throughout? Everything.
The smoking area is infested with the wrong people. I feel so out-numbered. But then again, im alone. Oh well im desperate to graduate.

2006-11-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

beethoven's gonna waltz me to death tmr.
remember the lecturer in ECE department who wears a goddamn wig?!!!
yea he's the short one.
i dont care. im just gonna smoke and sleep.

theGf is coming back!!!yayy!!
Its a lucky thing you called.
I knew you were galivanting ard.slut.
hahahhahh!!!

2006-11-05T23:04:00.000-08:00

I went to wonderland with Alice and i didnt go back. So its Alice and me in wonderland.
ok anyways i had to pop back up to reality and realised all the mess i made. Its like when Morpheus forgets to control people's dreams. I wonder how many dreams ive messed up?
And in Wonderland i saw red white-spotted mushrooms, rabbits that can talk, big and small doors to many things.

So Hell begins tmr and ends next week. No more late-nights and afternoon dreams.

2006-11-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

dollstar
welcome to year zero. meet my dolls. they're pretty.
i keep them neat on a thin slab of wood. they make me jump off my seat,
pop my head sideways and....
Vendetta was mad. The prettiest of all dolls. He laughs too much.
pretty dolls=happy days

2006-11-02T16:05:00.000-08:00

I want to look like Brian Molko.

There as a huge fire in causeway point around 7pm yesterday and everyone was screaming frantically trying to get out of there!!!!!

Not really. Charles and Keith was on fire and everyone pretended that nothing happened. Oh well earlier in school i was smoking in the toilet and right after i left the fire alarm broke. And i swear i thought the skool invented some new device shit to catch smokers. hahahah!!! but hell it was a false alarm.

Oh and guess what i wasnt alone for lunch today. Izzie was kind enough to pay me a visit and accompany me for lunch. And loverboy's gonna visit me too. yayy!!! but what's worse im spending 9hrs in a room surfing internet. We all come and go. I wish we cld just come and never come back. Tmr will be the same thing too. And my god it just wont stop raining!!!!!!!
I had to bear the waiting in skool before i cld leave. fuckfuckfuck!!!!!

I have no life. I desperately need my weekends. For fear of never waking up in the afternoon again.

Don't give up on a dream. Don't give up on one thing. Special K.

2006-10-29T02:55:00.000-08:00

In my head By Anna Nalick

"Under the weight of your wings
You are a god and whatever I want you to be
And I wonder if truly you are
Nearly as beautiful as I believe"

I had a great make believe night last night despite my great despair.
I had my two friends with me walking through blistering pain just to get me godamn
masks and fangs. And i met a friend at club st for a private halloween party. It wasn't a big event and the stuff i rented remained lifeless on the table. Anyhoos i met an asshole. He was so annoying that i remained sober. Oh i met this champagne called Piper and many, many cosmos. They're not good friends as you can tell, cos they make me puke and sleepy. But they make me happy for a reasonable period of time. Somehow when i met them i just cant stop laughing and smiling. I was violently happy. And i met a friend from long time ago. And it seems like everyone i ever knew are getting married or at least married. She told me secrets i never knew. And at the end of the day i was glad i met everyone.

2006-10-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

i love skool cos its the only thing to look forward to.
i hate skool cos there's nothing to do.
i watched Return to Oz.
i think ill just follow the yellow brick road.
i am sick and tired of hiding in dark cubicles and telling them my secrets.
now that my brakes dont work i hope ill just crash and die.
and now that nothing else work ill just go back to sleep.

I was wasting time at guthrie house looking at many white people, two browns and four yellows.
She had latte. She pushed the foam creating a small hole where she pours her sugar. Stirs it and left her seat for an empty plastic cup which i assume she will pour all her foam in. She opens her Newpaper, then put it back. Then she sprinkled salt on the top corner of her salad. Placed the empty sugar packet in the plastic cup. Stirs her colourful salad. Then she scooped the thick foam from her latte and dumped it in the empty plastic cup. I knew it.

2006-10-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

In a manner of speaking By Nouvelle Vague

"So in a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That like you I should find a way
To tell you everything
By saying nothing"

Hello. I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks. I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap. But i'd rather say nothing. God don't send me your angels. Im having fun dreaming. You're talking too soft, i need to hear it. If i tell you im this close to insanity would you tell me the truth? Love doesn't hurt so i know im not falling in love.

Tmr is real, cos im going back to school. Oh the joy!! I was happily trotting from one house to another and another all for the sake of two things. Food and little, many, colourful packets. Im not excited. Im glad it rained today. I just wanna fall back to sleep.

2006-10-23T01:01:00.000-07:00

i like it when you come to me when im lonely.
i like it when you know im lonely and sad.
i appreciate it when you sleep with me when i can't sleep.
i love to watch you sleep.
you make everything feels wonderful when its not.
i love it when you look at me with your big round eyes.
maybe i hated you so much but you gave me so many reasons
to love you.
you don't have to talk to me cos i know what you say.
please don't go away.
i don't know how long you'll stay.

i wish the dogs will stop barking into a rhythmic tune.
i think they're singing.
to someone.
and it scares me.

2006-10-22T03:44:00.000-07:00

anna nalick-wreck of the day

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the lights always red in the rearview
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you

And if this is giving up then Im giving up
If this is giving up then Im giving up
Giving up on love
On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And Im thinking about calling on Jesus
Cause love doesn't hurt so I know im not falling in love
Im just falling to pieces

And if this is giving up then Im giving up
If this is giving up then Im giving up
Giving up on love
On love

And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love
When all my resistence will never be distance enough

Driving away from the Wreck of the day
And its finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home
To the comfort of my bed.

And if this is giving up then Im giving up
If this is giving up then Im giving up
Giving up on love
On love

2006-10-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

Bright idea By Orson

"Did somebody tell you what I couldn't tell you
I hope they did
I hope they didn't
Here's my bright idea
I'll just disappear
I'll just fly away from here"

Imagine if these rules really exist at work. It'll be so funny.

Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.

4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

2006-10-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

When my lectures are over, and ive closed my notebook, hidden my pen and hide my wallet where it cannot be found, i often like to spend the evening in conversation with my few surviving friends. Sometimes we discuss about people who are trying to destroy us, and if there's a chance of escaping them. Sometimes we discuss about the most fearsome and troublesome animals. Like rats for example, you can actually talk to them. And lizards, are just dying to be your friends. And no i can't be alone. Cos like today, i bought two novels from Borders.

'Fallacy in my words.
Am i wry?'

Im imagining so many things that i think im imagining things.
And its all my imagination. Cos when you imagine things they dont really happened.
And i know it wont happened cos its only my imagination. That's the furthest i can go to actually feel it.

2006-10-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

"Wreck of the day By Anna Nalick"

In this asylum ive been surfing internet for the past 4 hours and will continue
to do so for the next 4hrs.
And for the past few days ive been listening to indian hiphop
and hanging out with indian dudes who talks in indian like as tho
i might happen to understand wth they're talking abt.
And im gonna go thru that for the next 4hrs. prolly til the end of my days here.
i might prolly know how to speak indian by then.

im boring and i have no friends.

the only friend i have in skool now is the beanbag in the library.
mind you, the library is not a library. its a wet market.
Thanks to all those who graduated before me and those who left me for attachments.

I want to sleep. And i want to hibernate.

And im going home. All thanks to Deepavali and nothingness.

2006-10-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

i love skool

ive nothing to update or say here. im in my own fantasy world.

2006-10-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

what marks the end of the day?
i told everyone the same thing that she's gotta be
somewhere else to chase reality.
truth doesnt hurt, it's always the lie.
if im selfish, i wldn't leave you.
if ure selfish, you'd be living a lie.
so who's to blame?
exactly.
but i never hate.
i don't do voodoo vengeance.
lets all be merrily happy. (~Je vois la vie en rose.
Il me dit des mots d'amour...lalalala~)
see, no one understands.

2006-10-10T02:33:00.000-07:00

To whoever it may concern,

When your friends keep telling you ghost stories at night, think of this.
When ure upset or you feel like a battered mofo, think of THIS.
Everytime when your nightmares kept haunting you, just think of these
goddamn mushrooms.
It helps, really.
Im glad it worked on me and Karl.
Ok Karl you're as adorable as the mushrooms ok, happy!!!!
We need to move on and we'll do it together ok??!!!

Then one day i wouldn't even remember your name.
Or why you were so selfish.
In my dreams you shattered my life.
In this world, you did the same.
All for someone you can make babies with.

frenchlips,
there's more than what you see and
if you could just look a little further
and you'd see me here.

2006-10-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

1 russian lighter.
2 bottles of russian coke.
and many russian dolls.

from,
russia

2006-10-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

aqualung-strange and beautiful

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
Unseen.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realise that you love me.

2006-10-07T01:13:00.000-07:00

Things you do when you get bored.

So i put my face on, wear my smile,
wear my laugh and left home to meet
the bitter ones.
We were, without a choice, at the same place
where everything happened.
And spoke of the same things that forced us
to run home, if that's possible.

Lets all waste time chasing dreams
I am a weekday on weekends and
the world's deranged.
I think im gonna throw up.
But will i ruin my make up?
Then i saw a butterfly.
I thought animals and insects are on drugs.

I still believe in coffee.

2006-10-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

If i could choose to be one of the seven gods,
i'd be....
Dream.

you're strange and you're beautiful.

2006-10-04T09:18:00.000-07:00

hello world,

I went sandman hunting today with nic. And ya, i bought two more comics from Neil Gaiman. So pearle since you like Death, i actually bought two comics about Death. And i found the hardcovers!!!!! but you just wouldn't believe the price. I saw their miniature figurines too!!! haha but they're kinda ugly tho'. Well i can't really remember which was the first comic i read or my favourite one either. ok ive nothing more to say ald.bye.

2006-10-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

The Fantasy By 30 Seconds To Mars
"Do you live, do you die, do you bleed
for the fantasy"

For some of you this month, you might feel like god finally loved you.
Oooh look at the light of love shining down on me. Phshh!!
Well maybe not.

I wish that Neil Gaiman's fantasies are not just mere magical illusions.
I wish it was real.
I wish there is Singapore Below. I wish im not living in Singapore Above.
(if you know what i mean)
I wish there's a floating market where you could swap a corpse for whatever.
And maybe rats could be the next best thing id talk to.
Only faithless people could see shiny,little fairies gleaming at you with hope.
I wish im the harlequin.
I'd love to break a heart or two.
Fool those who are fooled.

2006-09-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Nothing better By Postal Service

'Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company'

today the introvert speaks.
Mr. Midnight gleams at her smile.
i like nice smiles.

lesson learnt.
never get involved in someone else's catfight or try to be im-ur-angel-to-the-rescue.
i was in the middle of someone else's crime.
anyway i must've been this close to falling. but you all shld stop judging people on the outside.
and what i heard was unbelieveable alright.

and so i bought two crispy Neil Gaiman's comics.
found one store at cine with ALL the volumes.
pls let me know if there's any hardcovers alright?

hayden works wonders on a straight, empty road.
smell and appreciate the carbon.
ya ok i was still scared to try.
at least i got to be the flag girl (whatever the name is)

2006-09-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

hello stranger,

i do believe in love at first sight.

and im in love again.

with a faded green leather belt frm Energie.

and when i flipped the price tag....

i left the shop.

then i take a peep at the love of my life at paul smith.

the price is still the same.

dammit.

2006-09-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Left outside alone By Anastacia

'been living in a fantasy without meaning
it's not ok i don't feel safe'

life's bitter.
im bitter.
im sick of cupid.

i never knew the right reasons to anything at all.
yet i cldnt blame anyone why i ended up alone.
she, falling in love with someone else.
them, i had to witness it all.
love, is not a nice thing when it ends.

ok she is right infront of me but..
i still can't bring myself to ask her out for coffee.
dammit...

2006-09-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

i got hayden a 69.
i really like it cos you wldnt see it on anyone else's vehicle.
there's so much more i wanna do.

-design my helmet
-change the seats
-paste more stickers maybe
-change handlebar

Only the exterior cos ive yet to know what makes hayden moves.

2006-09-20T00:31:00.000-07:00

My heart By Acha & Irwan
'how does the bitter truth ends?'

"Love is the reason why a pair of lovers can stay up through the night just to watch the sunrise, take unnecessary risks just to see each other, or defy the boundaries of country and culture just to be together. That is the magic of love, a magic that blurs the line between sanity and insanity. Love does not just take us to see the heart that is full of joy, it also forces us to dive into the heart to see sorrow and pain."-Heart

I heart this movie la. This is the first indonesian film that made me cry my eyeballs out. please please please watch Heart.
I LOVE Rachel(Nirina Zubir). I dont know why but im so into the movie. I was crying to a friend while describing her the movie. Ok i seriously need to slp. I haven slept in er..36hrs.

This is what happened when you don't sleep at all. You'll go crazy. You'll fall in love.

2006-09-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

I'm having trouble sleeping

You're jumping in my bed

Twisting in my head

Leave me

2006-09-17T06:10:00.000-07:00

Why can't I By Liz Phair

"Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too"

Hello stranger.
So where do i start?

You were a part of me in many ways.
Now i have to detach myself one by one.
I think of the lies, the pain and all the confusion u made.
It's funny how hearts can change.
Cos im just a girl.

Anyways i had a blastin' good time for my birthday. I thank all of you who made it happen.
Seriously it cldnt be any better.

Hayden is slowly falling apart. First the accident, then my meter and god knows what else.

2006-09-14T02:56:00.000-07:00

'i wouldnt trade my time with you for anything.
sometimes the best things in your life are the biggest mistakes.'

never date a confused straight.
the moment you know that, take a step back.
cos everything else after that is gonna traumatize you.

i love to shop for myself.
it makes me happy.
and complete.

lacoste slip-ins.
david buttons jeans.
paul smiths t-shirts.

i can nvr grab hold of them.

the polka-dotted balls hanging on the trees of orchard road.
the life-size penguin showing in blackjack.
french lips.
you.

yea and all that too.

will you ask me out for coffee one day?

2006-09-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Run by Snow Patrol

'light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear'

fucking love this song. ill sing it one last time for you then we really have to go.

i thought it wldnt end. apology accepted. ofcos im completely out of the question. i don't know what else am i suppose to do to stay away from unhealthy situations. it is, obviously, and very much your own little problem. but as a friend i wldnt wanna create misunderstandings therefore im always here to talk or clarify things. i have my own little world to get over with so urs is not welcomed.

ok so i had fun tonight.
lalalalalala.
im not a spoilt brat ok.

i miss you. u shldve spared me this feeling when we were still strangers. i just don't want to remember you at all.

2006-09-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

chasing cars by snow patrol

'if i lay here, if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world'

i guess not.

met The Usuals at holland v. today we decided to check out settler's cafe. didn't get to play much games cos half the time i felt like i was in a hindustani movie. some cheenapiang won't stop screaming the place down. must be playing some stupid game. we ended up spending $99.50 and was entitled to a vip card. right, right. everything else after that became dodgy. so what was the plan tmr and the day after?

bloody hell im nocturnal. my plan was to sleep at night and wake up the next day with a plan and it goes on. no room for thoughts. seems like life is not working as planned, yet. can somebody wipe off my memory? like the eternal sunshine for the whatever whatever mind. yea like that movie.

went for a spa retreat the other day. i thought i wldnt feel so tense after that. but nooooo....i felt naked. cos they stripped my bushy leg hair away. woah...i love it when they massaged my head. it was a full-body massage. not really cos they skipped my breast. they scrubbed all my daki away,smothered me with some oil and wrapped me up like some popiah. i slept. and i dreamt datuk k married me. hahahahhaha. right, right.

next will be yoga. then pilates and meditation. different people got different ways of moving on you see. ive had enough sunsets with you. how abt sunrise with french lips and dark coffee?

here are the lists of things you can buy for my birthday:
-my fav book heart's delight by Per Nilsson
-wallet by gucci
-paul smith shirt (size m please)
-helmet by Arai. ok fine AGV.
-another spa retreat???
-watches, yes, any watch.
-maybe you can pay for my motorcycle fine???

ok that's all. if its beyond your budget then ill accept cash. thanks.

2006-09-08T07:06:00.000-07:00

Evanescence-My immortal

Im so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now Im bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Life after heart's delight:
KL was trippin' man. But im not in the mood to elaborate on it yet. Well nic made her debut at La Queen's. Now she's a celebrity....in KL only. hah. Nowdays ive been trying to live life to the fullest. No point sulking over something that comes and goes. You choose one person and make it work. In that case she made up her mind less than a month after we split. Well god bless you. There's always someone for everybody. There's many reasons why i should hate her. But id rather wait for the sweetest thing to happen.

2006-08-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

//angels or devils By dishwalla//
this is the last time-i will fall

Unfaithful
This is how im gonna end up as. Days like endless nights. I wish i cld just hang my eyes to dry. It hurts like fuck to know everything. Things you chance upon accidentally or things you heard. Well both hurts. Ive pretty much given her everything i cld ever give. My love, trust, freedom and ive kept my promise eversince. Everything is not enough. It hurts to know that when i thought everything was alright and nothing cld ever go wrong. Within a blink of an eye, everything collapsed. Ive said this many times if not to you. If you find that ure engaging urself with someone else while ure with me, please let me go. Don't hold on to me with him in ur heart. You might as well shoot me in the head. You became someone i thought you'd nvr be. You were already thinking of two, three people to replace your old memories before they're even ruined. Very mean. You know what you did. You know what you kept away from me. You know very well what you've done. And maybe you don't know how you made me completely depressed. You made me officially swollen. And i thought again that i cld be the one to conquer ur heart with what i have left. Like ive said it sucks to know EVERYTHING. I tried, i really did. Why do you even want to try and work things out with me when you know who is at the back of your mind. Been there and done there. Im not stupid. And i swear it will get back at you ten times. I will keep swearing until my soul heals. You feel what i felt ten times worse and i won't rest till you cringe in pain. Well no one wld've known or understand what it is like to be in my position right now. Cos someone whom i devoted my life to, the only one that kept me going, proved me completely wrong. Maybe im paying back for all my sins. And i think im done here.

2006-08-17T02:01:00.000-07:00

guten tag!!!

Pourquoi, Maria, pourquoi??!! Comment pourriez-vous avoir le coeur pour faire cela à moi ?
Et c'est comment vous me remboursez pour tous ce que j'ai faits pour toi.
Merci, Maria, merci beaucoup.

ok that's all i know. I don't know if it made sense or not. Well most of the time i feel normal, like everyday is just the same. I ended up hanging out at the wrong places and seeing the same people for like almost everyday in a week now. Mostly going to weird ends of singapore to satisfy our tummy. Do you realise we've been doing that everynight? That is not boring, that is normal. What's abnormal is waking up in the morning, face the truth and felt like ive just gone thru a tidal wave. It hurts. It hurts again and again to know that everything was taken for granted. Yea, yea get over it munah. This is just another repeated season. Well im not vengeful but i swear to god you will feel ten times the pain. It's just sad that's all. Din i just say that i wanted it to end well?

guten nacht!!!!

2006-08-13T00:57:00.000-07:00

Dealova by Once
Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
oh karena hati tlah letih

Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan

Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yg ku hela kau selalu ada

Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi, dan sepi

Selalu ada, kau selalu ada
Selalu ada, kau selalu ada

i really love this song. Yea its sappy but it is really, really nice to hear and ive always loved his voice. It makes me feel like swaying frm left to right like a ballerina then knock my head on the wall viciously. Yea yea, life is unfair like that. Btw he is the lead singer of Dewa and i don't know why he call himself Once. Such a weird name.

Anyways like ive said, me and hayden are falling apart. We're both broken and it is esp sad to see him without a proper clutch. Yea some bastard broke my clutch lever. babi. I don't know what else is coming. This is just so depressing. One after another. Haiz. Thr's nothing left you cld break. Im already numb. Only looking forward to better days with or without you.

2006-08-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

Jet-Look what you've done
Take my photo off the wall
if it just won't sing for you.
Cause all that's left is gone away and there's
nothing there for you to prove.

Oooh look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone.
Oooh well it seemed like such fun
until you lose what you had won.

Give me back my point of view
cause I just can't think for you.
I can hardly hear you say
What should i do.
Will you choose?

Oooh look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone.
Oooh well it seems like such fun
until you lose what you had won.
Oooh look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone.
a fool of everyone.
a fool of everyone.

Take my photo off the wall
if it just won't sing for you.
Cause all that's left has gone away
and there's nothing there for you to do.

Oooh look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone.
Oooh well it seemed like such fun
until you lose what you had won.
Oooh look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone.
A fool of everyone.

2006-08-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

//Tamia-Stranger in my house//
'Or could it be
That the stranger is me
Have I changed so drastically?
Is it I want more for me?
And you remain the same'

Hayden is falling apart. And so am i. And everything else ard me. Like it cld get any steamer. So much for the occasion i got drenched instead. I felt like an idiot cos i was saving my money's worth for a special occasion or at least a moment. In this place thr's no plan, no future and no love that cld wrap ard you for a lifetime. After some time you'll be thinking what the hell im doing here. I feel so numb. As a result of wear and tear i suppose. I need a fresh bag of inspiration. Perhaps that cousin of yours. kidding. Nevertheless, this video clip made my day. MOSTO OFO YUAH!!!!

japanese game show - learning english

2006-08-02T01:59:00.000-07:00

//look what you've done by jet//
take my photo off the wall if it just won't song for you

It was raining when i rode and i almost skid. I know im gonna fail for my test today and that is just not good. In case you nvr asked my whole body is numb and lethargic. I don't have enough sleep and im FUCKING broke. It was a hot, scorchy day today and im very restless and sleepy. I stayed in skool awhile and still that wasn't good enough. I had to carry my giant laptop everywhere i go and that dumbass full-face helmet. I just topped up my bloody petrol yday and i had to top it up again. And ya ive got lots of money to do that all the time. And no one asked about my day.

If everything is not enough then im not the right person for you. You don't owe me anything but what you're saying is a little bit, you know, mean. If you want reasons based on facts, i can give you some. I wish i cld be every little thing you wanted. But hell, im fucking tired like you are right now. So use ur imaginations please.

Well this is Hayden if you must know. And that is Is on it. Please understand that the fuel consumption is driving nuts. Im not trying to be selfish. Don't ever come up to me and ask me if that's a Ducati. And tmr im gonna give Hayden a cool bath and a brazillian wax.

2006-07-28T14:17:00.000-07:00

hello world,

ive decided to name my bike Hayden, after the hot american racer Nicky Hayden. i actually dreamt about him. I LOVE his dimples. i don't mind breaking the rules for him. haha. ok. this might sound ridiculous but i still prefer public transport. calm and relaxing. hey..you dont know how tense i am when im riding. Anyway thr's no time difference cos i usually ride super slow. The advantage is i can go everywhere in singapore without complaining. And maybe save a lil bit of money. It was raining this afternoon and i was soooooo happy and willing to take the public transport. However the weather cheated me halfway and b made me go all the way back home to take my bike. We went to Nyp, watch dzool perform and end up at marina south eating steam boat. I learnt how to selit in between cars and not to stall halfway. (wic i didn't apparently) And that's abt it. Balik rumah jer, mak suruh taubat.

2006-07-19T02:03:00.000-07:00

//empty apartment by yellowcard//
take me away from this empty apartment i stay

I want to be completely unaffected by what's happening. I love the thought of being independent, still thinking about it. Im sorry this is just not working for me. Like a Saturday night, you'll be gone. I won't rest until you put me to bed. This is random. French lips, fair-weathered skin and dark coffee eyes still remain a part of my dream. A composure mixed with style, yet you remain oblivious. I don't care, this is random. My own epic drama, my own scripted page. I wish i could write my own life and end it with a note. Happy and massively interupted.

2006-07-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

Everything expensive.

My breast aches again. My tummy is bloated and my backbone hurts like fark. Yes im having menses. Blobblob...big red blobs. Must i have menses when im broke? Oh and im awfully broke.

Ok i think the money gods are angry at me cos the last time i had 60 bucks i spent almost 3/4 of it. I watched movie and spent on mostly food. After the movie i sat down, lit up my ciggy and i almost cried. I hate it when i spent it on food, food, food. But im helpless. Those thick, carbo juicy burgers or indulge on oh-so-expensive and sialtakworthitbetol restaurants. And it doesnt benefit me at all cos it just makes me grow fatter and wider and lazier. I seriously can't help it.

Shopping is a need. And it is worth it. If only i am Munah Hilton or Munah Blair. Then i don't need to worry about what clothes to wear or which club i shld go(depending on whether thr's free entry).NO BUDGET.

Topman: This is a must-go shopping destination. They've got all i need there. I know it is common and very mat-ish. But it depends on how u wear them and what you buy. Something like the yummylicious Ben Sherman. And they've got simple and nice tees.

Paul Smith: Oh don't bother trying it on cos i cldnt afford it anyway. That place is a touch-and-go. I lurvvvveeee their t-shirts and the vintage prints. One shirt cost $139. Fucker. And im simply attracted to their shopping bags. I don't mind just having them. (if only it is free)

Gucci: There's nothing wrong in lashing out all your money on labels. What hurts the most is to see someone wearing your green gucci specs that cost $200+ on them. Well..well long story. I bought another one anyway so it doesnt matter. But green + gucci = worth all ur money.
im still bitter about it though.

Highlight of the day: When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Right nic? Hey you guys can't call me peepee anymore. This is a common thing ald. Ive marked my spot. Nic did. There's more to come.

2006-07-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

im bored so i shall blog again.
i thought i cld have the time of my life while my mom is spending her holiday at Surabaya. But nooooo...i feel restricted and caught up under the rules of the house. My uncle just had to stay here and look after us. This whole week cld've meant so much more if he's not around. He's ruining it. erghhh.

So everyone is partying away at either zouk or mos. knn. that's so unfair. anyway i won't have money for the next 5 days if i were to go. money runs like water when im clubbing. or when im in town id spend my money on food or clothes. someone needs to keep my money on a tight leash. im still waiting for my next allowance. i finished it 4days after i received it.

Thanks to Mtv, i am constantly watching Laguna Beach and 8th & Ocean.
i love 8th & Ocean. The models are hot, hot, hot.

i need a job.
my breast are swollen.

2006-07-13T22:48:00.000-07:00

Zouk T.A.B

These are some of the pictures we snapped at Zouk. Thanks to Nurhida Buang we got lots and lots of free card invitation to Zouk. There's 14 invites but only 6 of us cld make it. We tried selling it to strangers but some pple felt threatened by us so it went to waste. Alot of weird things happened like this old mat salleh picked up my hand and stared at my tudor. He seemed happy for me. And i met this smooth operator. He's got this distinctive hairstyle and he's in my skool. We were all entertained by DjB. We abandoned Phuture for the most happening house in Zouk. Unfortunately by the time it was 2am, we were all shagged.

Pearle and hid left us with the camera while they were at the dance floor.
There's more than just this.

Zouk sexiest celeb.

i.love.runni.

ok this is all of us. Me and pearle cashed out 42 buckeroones on 2 jugs of diluted vodka lime.
And now we're broke.

After 2 am.

The Dutch hottie accompanied by 3 other unknown girls at Zouk. Pearle and hid made me chase after him and take a picture of the guy. Apparently pearle and hid were oogling over him right frm the start. And before i even knew that, the Dutch spoke to me at the dance floor. When we were all outside zouk he spoke to me again. hahhahaha. Sorry girls. Well at least i didn't go all wet for him. right.

So what's the big deal.

ok bile mak suruh balik, semua kene balik. ok.
Sampai rumah me and hid kene maki. hahahahha.
macam sial.

2006-07-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

7 random facts about me:
1. I am lucky at times.
2. im materialistic
3. i don't like ppl who assume things abt me when
they don't know me
4. i cant save money
5. im a mess
6. i don't really know how to entertain kids
7. i love everything abt soccer

7 things that scares me:
1. pple who talk in their sleep or sleepwalk.
(esp when hid starts laughing in her slp)
2. grass-cutter.
3. shasha hrc bapok
4. ghosts i think tho ive nvr seen one.
5. rodents, lizards or roaches
6. bungy jumping.
7. losing something really valuable to me

7 random music at the moment:
1. velvet revolver-you got no right
2. big runga-sway
3. take the lead
4. coheed and cambria-wake up
5. OAG
6. placebo
7. something corporate

7 things i like the most:
1. my tudor
2. sakae sushi
3. paul smith(tho i cant afford it)
4. clubbing with the right ppl at the right time
5. cigarettes and coffee
6. shopping
7. spending all my money on expensive food

7 things i say the most:
1. are you serious
2. really!!
3. ketiakjantan
4. ill kill you smogol
5. ...
6. ...
7. ....

7 people i wanna see doing this:
cldnt be bothered to..

2006-06-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

hello. i had the best term break ever.
haven been updating cos im having so much fun with my friends
and ketiakjantan.

ok later.

2006-06-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

GuthrieHouse
I threw myself over to this secluded area, feeling the hours tied down to my feet as i drag myself away from the buzzing city lights. Surrounded by the rich and famous.
How about smoothcoldpurevanilla with smiles like the rockchic. Some place i'd prefer over starbucks. I'll just laugh with you. Or maybe ill steal glances at the food menu. Maybe ill look pathetic enough for an offer. All's good. Distractions are good. Sometimes. I'll be back ofcos.

fadedgreenaffair
It was only then i knew that we were through but still i kept seeing you. I realise we can never make up to all those missed times. She'd probably brushing shoulders with a stranger already.
I'd just hope people cld stop asking me the same question all the time. I hate to be reminded. Look she's not here. Im alone today. And im not looking for another catastrophy. Enough is enough.

2006-06-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

//30 seconds to Mars-Fallen//
Yeah, I've been to Jupiter
And I've fallen through the air
I used to live out on the moon
But now I'm back here down on earth

i knew it. im right. im so right. im a genius. im hopeless. im paranoid. i knew i was right.
hah. how cld i forget? i hope luck will brush your shoulders one day.

i like sixth ave. i like the people. i love the food. i like the distractions as well. it keeps me away from bad dreams. but i don't like strangers. they always talk nonsense. they scare me. i used to hide and run away from this stranger cos i kept seeing her all the time. the beginning always ends the same.

im seeing you.

i smoke a cigarette and i pretend im normal. And i wish i was dead.

2006-05-30T00:58:00.000-07:00

I guess this is it. My beautiful.

Wake up by Coheed and Cambria

I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out the window.

I'll do anything for you, Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.

I've earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.

I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
(Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you, Kill anyone for you.

So leave yourself intact
Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.